The Almost Princess

I know a number of princesses. These are women who can’t do unpleasant things. I have a lovely neighbor woman who has three dogs. She cannot pick up their feces from her back yard. Either she will hire someone to clean it up for her, or she will call me in a panic and ask me if I can “help.” Help? These are not my dogs! Never mind. She really can’t do it.

I have another woman friend who refuses to bring the garbage in or out of her yard. She won’t touch a garbage can. I have two sisters who refuse to cook and expect their husbands to do that job. I have a daughter who does very little cooking because she dislikes it. I know another woman who refuses to clean bathrooms. Simply says she can’t do it. It makes her sick.

As a dog (and cat) lover and owner, we have those awful moments when one or the other dog becomes violently ill and erupts all over the floor. (By the way, this never happens on the tile, or on the hardwood floor!) The vomiting or diarrhea will always land on the Oriental rugs, and generally on the most expensive one. If that rug is spared, I assure you that the next target area will be on the palest Oriental rug in order to ensure that the event will leave its mark in history.

I do somewhat understand my female acquaintances being “princesses,” but having my husband be a “princess” is somewhat disconcerting. Alex will look at the mess the dogs have made and start gagging. He runs from the site of the atrocity and hides. I will scream at him to bring me a pail of hot soapy water, paper towels and a big sponge. He will only bring the cleaning supplies to the door of the room. It makes him too sick to be around this mess. He just can’t do it.

Does he think that I enjoy cleaning up things like this? Does anyone really “not mind” doing it? No. Nobody wants to do it, but alas, it must be done. Maybe after having kids and being around grandkids as babies, I got immune to messy bodily function stuff. Still, I wish I had begun earlier saying, “I just can’t do that!” Then I could put the tiara on my head and wait for someone who was not a princess to come and do it for me!